Missing Mom

I can’t sleep.

My heart aches.

About this time (11pm) on July 17th, four weeks ago, I put my head on the hard arm of a loveseat in the first floor day room at DJ Jacobetti Home for Veterans to try and sleep for a few minutes. Our family had been keeping vigil all day as we received a call from my sister at 7:30am that mom was “actively dying” and we should come asap. She could pass within the hour or the next 24 hours.

I knew this day would come.

I returned to Michigan on March 28th when I learned mom’s lung cancer was back and metastacized in her brain. She and dad were now living at the Veteran’s home because dad needed 24 hour care. Mom did not want to go there. In fact, she fought the family at first when the idea was mentioned to her. She blossomed within the first week and knew everyone on her floor and participated in all the activities. Little did we know that a couple of months later mom would be the one who needed the most care.

I first noticed little things, like loosing her balance when she walked the halls or outside with me. She was given a cane, then walker, wheelchair, and finally unable to sit up on her own, was bedridden.

She could feed herself until about two weeks before she died. Then my sister, brothers, and I took turns feeding her at every meal.

Mom could no longer communicate with words. In fact, the last words she spoke to me were “I love you”. She could nod “yes” or “no” when asked those kind of questions.

People would ask me how I was doing. I would respond with, “ok”, but I really wasn’t. Spending every day with my parents, watching mom decline and dad (who has dementia) continually ask, “What’s wrong with your mom” having to explain to him she was sick and had cancer was my new “normal”.

It’s now 1am, July 18th. I was awakend by my sister-in-law Cindi. The doctor said mom was only breathing with half her lung capacity. It would be soon.

Our family gathered in the room. We put dad in the recliner next to mom’s bed so he could hold her hand. Hymns were softly playing in the background. Dad would sing when he heard a familiar one. He talked to mom and told her it was okay to go. All five children told her the same.

Her breathing became slower and I knew in my heart it wouldn’t be long. One of mom’s favorite music styles was bagpipes. I placed a CD in the player and pressed play.  Amazing Grace was being played on the bagpipes as mom took her last breath. That was at 2:15am on July 18th, 2018.

The memorial service was August 4th and it was beautiful. Many people shared how mom touched their lives. The stories were uplifting and encouraging.

But it’s time to go home. For me, South Carolina. For my sister, Alabama. For one brother, Ohio. Two brothers live in Michigan and will be there for dad. How do I leave dad now? We talked. He said he would be okay. I told him I would call every day. He said I didn’t have to. He prayed for me.

Life will be different.

I got home yesterday. Unpacked a few things. Left the boxes with some of mom’s things until later.

Today I unpacked one specific box with mom’s clothes that I brought home to eventually make something for family members. I cried. Then I remembered…

It’s four weeks since she crossed over.

My heart aches. I’m crying.

I miss my mom.

2017 Border Grill copy2








Leak in the Ceiling

The first week of January brought a severe cold snap and snow to the Charleston area. Most people here are not prepared for snow removal, ice build up and the possibility of pipes breaking due to freezing then thawing. For most of this week my husband has been repairing and insulating some broken pipes at the property we manage.

As my husband was sharing with me that one of the pipes he found cracked was under the master bath sink, hidden in the wall, I was reminded of something I had written a few years back. I came across the paper today while searching for something else.

Leak in the Ceiling

March 4, 2006

This morning I woke up at 7am with these thoughts in my head. I felt God wanted me to write them down.

Tuesday morning, February 28th  When I came home from work, Mary (my roommate) told me she found some of her rugs on the floor in her bathroom wet. She said they smelled musty and thought maybe the cat may have urinated on them. I told her that wasn’t likely, but to let me know if it happened again.

Thursday morning, March 2nd  Mary and I were both up early to get ready for work. She said she found wet rugs again in her bathroom and put them in the laundry room on the floor. When I picked up one of the rugs, liquid just poured out of it on the floor. We looked in her bathroom around the floor by the sink, tub, and toilet to see if there was water leaking from anywhere. We didn’t find a leak. Then we looked in the laundry room, which is right next to her bathroom. The laundry room floor had some water, but we thought it was from the rugs she had put there. I noticed a small “bubble” in the wall next to the washing machine that appeared to have water in it. I told Mary I would call the landlord when I got to work.

Thursday evening, March 2nd  I had a very busy day at work and forgot to call the landlord. I arrived at home around 9pm, put away my groceries and went to the laundry room to get cat food to feed the cat. I found water on the floor, on top of the dryer, and leaking from the light fixture in the ceiling. This was not good! I grabbed a few towels to wipe up the floor and a bucket to try and collect the water dripping from the light fixture. I also noticed two large “bubbles” in the same area I had earlier in the morning. It was late so I decided to call the landlord in the morning.

Friday morning, March 3rd  I called the landlord as soon as I got to work and explained the problem. They told me they would call someone and have them meet me at the house. I met Rick the plumber at 11am at my house and showed him the leak and water bubbles in the wall. The gallon bucket was now 1/2 full of water leaking from the light fixture. I explained to him that I tried to investigate where the water was coming from the night before. My bathroom is directly over the laundry room and I checked around the tub, toilet and sink, but did not find any leaks. After examination, Rick determined that the water in the laundry room was not coming from my bathroom upstairs.

We went back downstairs to the laundry room and Rick decided to cut the ceiling around the light fixture to determine where the water was coming from. When he pulled out the small 12″x12″ section of drywall, water came flowing out. He removed the glass enclosure from the light fixture and it was full of water. Rick cut out another section of the ceiling and this also had water flow out. As he looked through the two holes, he could see where the pipes were. The area over the light fixture is where the upstairs tub is located and he did not see any leaking from those pipes. He put his hand in the hole he just cut to feel for wet areas. He cut another hole in the ceiling and less water came out. He determined the water was not coming from the bathroom upstairs, but was mystified as to where the leak was.

I went upstairs and sat on the front porch and prayed that God would give him wisdom in locating the leak. Rick came upstairs to where I was in the kitchen and noticed some Joyce Meyer CD’s on the table. He asked me if they were Christian tapes and I said yes. He told me he believed in God and he could probably use some of what was on those tapes. He then shared his frustration about not being able to locate where the water was coming from. I told him I had just been outside praying and asked the Lord to give him wisdom where to find the leak. He decided to go back downstairs and try one more time. Within minutes I heard him yell, “I found it! You must have been praying!”

The leak was in a pipe in the corner closest to the outside wall. Rick determined that in the last cold spell we had it must have frozen. With the warm weather recently the pipe must have begun to thaw and then burst in a small area. The water was just spraying out of the pipe! He easily fixed the problem and was on his way. The holes in the drywall will be fixed in a week or so after the drywall has had time to air out and dry.

I woke up this morning thinking about the events of the past few days and some interesting parallels.


  • water on the floor
  • water dripping from the ceiling
  • bubbles of water in the wall

The areas the water was in were nowhere near where the actual leak was.

How many times do we look at the “symptoms” of something and try to fix it based on what we “see” or how it appears?

When I first began to investigate the leak, I thought the water was coming from a leak in the upstairs bathroom. Reason? The bathroom is above the laundry room. Water flows down, not up, so logically it had to be coming from somewhere above. Results? After investigation we found the water leak was NOT from the upstairs bathroom.

How many times do we have people in our lives who tell us the “symptoms” of a problem, but the symptoms don’t give us the whole picture. We have to investigate further to see if the “symptoms” are a result of something deeper.


  • cut holes in ceiling
  • look into holes
  • feel around holes

The plumber cut 3 holes in the ceiling and pulled out the drywall to try to determine where the leak was coming from.

Sometimes we have to “cut holes” into someone’s heart to see where the real problem is. How does this happen? By building relationships and trust with them.

The plumber had a flashlight that illuminated the area he cut the hole in so he could look around to determine where the leak was.

The Holy Spirit (Ruach) is the light that illuminates the areas of the heart that have been wounded. We NEED the guidance of the Holy Spirit for us to be able to “see” the wound.

The plumber took his hand and felt around inside the hole to feel where it was wet and dry. This would help him determine if he was going in the right direction. The wet area told him to continue heading in the same direction. The dry area indicated the moisture had not affected that particular area.

When the Holy Spirit begins to touch an area of the heart that is wounded, tears sometimes come. This is one way to know that God is working in that area of a person’s heart.


  • continue to cut away the wet areas of drywall
  • find copper pipe spraying water
  • fix leak
  • let drywall air out
  • repair ceiling

The plumber continued to cut away the areas of the ceiling following the path of wet drywall. The area the leak was found was HIDDEN in an area not yet exposed by a hole in the ceiling.

As we continue to build relationships and trust with each other, we will be able to “cut away” the areas of our heart to expose the hidden area where the pain is from.

When the plumber found the leak, in this case, the solution was a simple one. The leak was the size of a pin hole, but the water continued to spray inside the ceiling for who knows how long. The leak was small, but was not dealt with when it originally happened. No one knew the pipe burst because it was hidden behind a wall. The damage to the ceiling happened over time.

Sometimes the area we have been hurt or wronged in can seem to us to be small or insignificant. Sometimes it can be something that happens to us over time, such as abuse or addiction. If we don’t deal with these areas, they will continue to “spray inside of us” for a ling time until they begin to manifest in symptoms that seem to be unrelated to the original problem.

The plumber was able to fix the leak in the pipe with a relatively simple procedure.

The solution to our problems may not always be simple, but there is hope with the love of God and healing by Yeshua through the Holy Spirit.

The leak in the pipe is now repaired, but I still have several holes in the ceiling of the laundry room. The plumber said the wet drywall needs to air out before he can repair the holes. This takes time.

As we build relationships and trust with people and they allow us to look into the wounded areas of their heart, the Holy Spirit will reveal to us how we can help. Once the area of woundedness is exposed, we can then help repair the damage with prayer and counseling. The wound will heal, but it takes time.

I hope this blessed you!


Ephraim brings Judah home

Today a miracle happened!

We have two cats named Ephraim & Judah. Their mother, a feral cat, brought them to us as kittens in August of 2015. We named them Ephraim and Judah before we knew they were female!

On December 7, 2017, we let both Ephraim and Judah outside. Late that evening a storm came through the area and the cats must have found shelter somewhere. The next day Judah came home, but Ephraim did not. My husband Tommy and I spent the next 4 days walking the neighborhood looking for Ephraim and putting up lost cat posters.

On day 5, Ephraim came home! We were so excited and shared the story with our Pastor friend Joey. He commented that it was very interesting that we “went looking for Ephraim” because that is the ministry we are involved with! Tommy and I work with Pete & Kelly Rambo to organize the South Carolina National Shabbat, which is a gathering to help Ephraim “find each other”! We are also involved with B’ney Yosef North America , whose vision statement is “The regathering and reconciliation of the North American portion of the House of Yosef/Ephraim (Northern Israel)!

This story has an interesting twist.

On December 31, 2017, our cat Judah was getting restless so we let her out. That evening there were fireworks in the neighborhood that probably scared her and she didn’t return home. For the next week we had record cold temperatures and snow. We live in South Carolina…our cats have NEVER seen snow or been in the severe cold. Ephraim stayed in the house. We looked and called for Judah every day, to no avail.

Yesterday, 1/9/18, after walking the neighborhood and putting up lost cat posters, we let Ephraim out because the snow had melted and the ice was gone. We jokingly told her to go find Judah and bring her home. Our cats go out and return at night because we have a dog guest who is out in the yard during the day.

Tonight, at the 9pm hour when we usually call for the cats, I went outside and called to both Ephraim and Judah to come home. I could not believe my eyes!!!!! Ephraim came first and right behind her was Judah! She was missing for 11 days! Praise Yah! Ephraim brought Judah home!

So what does this all mean?

Our Father, YHVH, is gathering the Children of Israel:

Deuteronomy 30:1-6 HNV 1 It shall happen, when all these things are come on you, the blessing and the curse, which I have set before you, and you shall call them to mind among all the nations, where the LORD your God has driven you, 2 and shall return to the LORD your God, and shall obey his voice according to all that I command you this day, you and your children, with all your heart, and with all your soul; 3 that then the LORD your God will turn your captivity, and have compassion on you, and will return and gather you from all the peoples, where the LORD your God has scattered you. 4 If [any of] your outcasts are in the uttermost parts of the heavens, from there will the LORD your God gather you, and from there will he bring you back: 5 and the LORD your God will bring you into the land which your fathers possessed, and you shall possess it; and he will do you good, and multiply you above your fathers. 6 The LORD your God will circumcise your heart, and the heart of your seed, to love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, that you may live.

Isaiah 11:11-13 NASB 11 Then it will happen on that day that the Lord Will again recover the second time with His hand The remnant of His people, who will remain, From Assyria, Egypt, Pathros, Cush, Elam, Shinar, Hamath, And from the islands of the sea. 12 And He will lift up a standard for the nations And assemble the banished ones of Israel, And will gather the dispersed of Judah From the four corners of the earth. 13 Then the jealousy of Ephraim will depart, And those who harass Judah will be cut off; Ephraim will not be jealous of Judah, And Judah will not harass Ephraim.

Jeremiah 31:7-10 NASB 7 For thus says the LORD, “Sing aloud with gladness for Jacob, And shout among the chief of the nations; Proclaim, give praise and say, ‘O LORD, save Your people, The remnant of Israel.’ 8 “Behold, I am bringing them from the north country, And I will gather them from the remote parts of the earth, Among them the blind and the lame, The woman with child and she who is in labor with child, together; A great company, they will return here. 9 “With weeping they will come, And by supplication I will lead them; I will make them walk by streams of waters, On a straight path in which they will not stumble; For I am a father to Israel, And Ephraim is My firstborn.” 10 Hear the word of the LORD, O nations, And declare in the coastlands afar off, And say, “He who scattered Israel will gather him And keep him as a shepherd keeps his flock.”

Maybe the saga of the “lost” cats, Ephraim & Judah, is a reminder that the “lost” tribes are being “found” and returning home.

May it be soon and in our day!





Whole Heart

I heard this song today…great lyrics!


Whole Heart
Well I called your name a long time ago
And you sprung a well from a heart of stone
But I was careful then what I let you see
Only thought you wanted the best of me
The less I trust you, the less I grow
The more you love me, the more I know
I don’t have to be afraid to show all of me, all of me
Where there’s hurting
You show me what healing can do
Where there’s hatred
You show me how kindness can move
Where there’s fear deep inside
I won’t run, I won’t hide
I’ll give you all of me
So that you can see
Every broken piece and open up my
Whole heart, whole heart
And love you with my
Whole heart, whole heart
My whole heart
So I’m ready now, gonna let you in
All the way to the scars beneath my skin
And you don’t look away ’cause you understand
And you

He Wants It All

This song has been on my heart for several days…

He (God) wants ALL of your heart…

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 NASB 4 “Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! 5 “You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart.

Matthew 22:36-38 NASB 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And He said to him, ” ‘YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND.’ 38 “This is the great and foremost commandment.

Mark 12:28-30 NASB 28 One of the scribes came and heard them arguing, and recognizing that He had answered them well, asked Him, “What commandment is the foremost of all?” 29 Jesus answered, “The foremost is, ‘HEAR, O ISRAEL! THE LORD OUR GOD IS ONE LORD; 30 AND YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH.’

Luke 10:25-27 NASB 25 And a lawyer stood up and put Him to the test, saying, “Teacher, what shall I do to inherit eternal life?” 26 And He said to him, “What is written in the Law? How does it read to you?” 27 And he answered, “YOU SHALL LOVE THE LORD YOUR GOD WITH ALL YOUR HEART, AND WITH ALL YOUR SOUL, AND WITH ALL YOUR STRENGTH, AND WITH ALL YOUR MIND; AND YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.”


Give Me Your Eyes

My husband and are blessed to have the opportunity to paint the inside of a vacant house. The owners requested ceilings, walls & trim in all rooms (3 bedrooms, living, dining, kitchen, bath, entry, and hallway), be painted all the same color – off white. Each room had a unique color (grey, lavender, tan, burgundy) and have required two coats of paint to cover.

While painting we have the radio on tuned to one of the local Christian stations. Today I heard the song “Give Me Your Eyes” and it struck my heart. These are some of the lyrics:

Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give me your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.

We are almost to Yom Teruah (Leviticus 23:23-25; Numbers 29:1) or the Day of Blowing and I have been searching my heart during the month of Elul. The lyrics listed above is my heart desire.

Abba, give me YOUR eyes so I can see EVERYTHING I keep missing. I have missed so much by focusing on self. Give me YOUR love for humanity. I have been judgmental and not extending the same grace I have received. Give me YOUR arms for the broken-hearted. I need to have more compassion. Give me YOUR heart for the ones forgotten. Who have I forgotten?

As I walked through the house from each freshly painted room to the next, I realized the inside of this house has a “new start”. The blemishes have been scraped away, holes filled  in, scuff marks scrubbed off, and everything covered with white. Each room looks clean and without blemish.

Isaiah 1:16-18 16 NASB “Wash yourselves, make yourselves clean; Remove the evil of your deeds from My sight. Cease to do evil, 17 Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow. 18 “Come now, and let us reason together,” Says the LORD, “Though your sins are as scarlet, They will be as white as snow; Though they are red like crimson, They will be like wool.

Ephesians 5:25-27 NASB 25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.

Song of Songs 4:7 NASB 7 “You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you.

I, too, have a new start! Abba has allowed me to see the roughness and imperfections in my heart so I can repent and be clean! Hallelujah!


Give Me Your Eyes
Looked down from a broken sky
Traced out by the city of lights
My world from a mile high
Best seat in the house tonight
Touch down on the cold black-top
Hold on for the sudden stop
Breathe in the familiar shock of confusion and chaos
All those people going somewhere, why have I never cared
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give me your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Step out on the busy street.
See a girl and our eyes meet.
Does her best to smile at me.
To hide what’s underneath.
There’s a man just to her right
Black suit and a bright red tie.
Too ashamed to tell his wife he’s out of work, he’s buyin time.
All those people going somewhere, why have I never cared.
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see,
Everything that I keep missing,
Give me your love for humanity.
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten.
Give me Your eyes so I can see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I’ve been there a million times
A couple million lives
Just moving past me by, I swear I never thought that I was wrong
But I wanna second glance so give me a second chance
To see the way you’ve seen the people all along
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
Give me your love for humanity
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see
Give me your eyes for just one second
Give me your eyes so I can see
Everything that I keep missing
That I keep missing
Give me your arms for the broken-hearted
The ones that are far beyond my reach.
Give me Your heart for the ones forgotten
Give me Your eyes so I can see.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

An Understanding Heart

While reading the Torah portion Ki Tavo last week a verse jumped out at me:

Nevertheless, to this day YHVH has not given you a heart to understand, eyes to see or ears to hear! Deuteronomy 29:3(4) CJB

Moses is speaking to all Israel reminding them of the great things YHVH did while they were slaves in Egypt, yet the people still didn’t get it!

Isaiah 6:9-10 CJB He said, go and tell this people: ‘Yes, you hear, but you don’t understand. You certainly see, but you don’t get the point!’ “Make the heart of this people [sluggish with] fat, stop up their ears, and shut their eyes. Otherwise, seeing with their eyes, and hearing with their ears, then understanding with their hearts, they might repent and be healed!”

Yeshua said to the disciples in Matthew 13:13 CJB, “Here is why I speak to them in parables: they look without seeing and listen without hearing or understanding.”

And in Luke 8:9-10 CJB His talmidim asked him what this parable might mean, and he said, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the Kingdom of God; but the rest are taught in parables, so that they may look but not see, and listen but not understand.’

I know my heart is still hard in some areas. I judge people and situations too quickly. As I read the verse quoted in Isaiah above, YHVH help me to really see with my eyes, hear with my ears THEN understand with my heart so I might repent and be healed.

Give me an understanding heart. FATHER, Show me where to start. To bring peace where there is confusion, and Joy To the disillusioned, AND love from the CHRIST that lives inside of me.

Give me an understanding heart.

Show me how to do my part To set the captives free. This is my prayer to THEE Loving FATHER, please give me and understanding heart AND Father and show me I need you to show me where you want me to start.

I want to bring peace where there is confusion and YOUR joy to the disillusioned AND love from the CHRIST that lives deep deep down inside of me

Father won’t you please please please give me an understanding heart I want you to show me Just show me show me How I can do my part. I want to help you to set these captives free FATHER this is my prayer to THEE won’t you please please please give me an understanding heart.

Won’t you help me to love my brother not just Judge and condemn will you help me to always look for the CHRIST that is living inside of him Won’t you help me to control my urge to always reprimand.

And FATHER Give me Wisdom I need the Wisdom to understand.

Oh FATHER give me an understanding heart. Father I need you to Show me show me YOU show me where you want me to start I want to help bring peace where there is confusion I want to spread your joy to the disillusioned Father please please Won’t you give me an understanding heart

Its my prayer to THEE

Please please please give it to me I need an understanding heart Please please please give me Like Soloman I want you to give it to me give it to me an understanding heart

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The Heart

A beautiful song by Yoni & Nina Toyaker, also known as Yonina. The song is in Hebrew with English subtitles. Enjoy!


The heart is open
The heart is listening
The heart understands it all
The heart speaks truth
The heart is pure
And it greets everything with simplicity
And it is full of light
The walls, the walls
Are like a maze
But the voices move through them
Somehow all the fractured masks
Are one complete whole
And the heart knows how to be and feel
Without being told a thing
An honest encounter
Doors open
I enter them
And like the wind everything penetrates and reveals a hidden world
I drink from the well within
Deep below are layers upon layers
And beneath them a diamond that is never burned
Simple like the dew of love
The heart is open
The heart is listening
And it greets everything with simplicity
And it is full of light

Abundance of the Heart

I was in a video conversation with some very good friends when one of them made a comment regarding a subject we were discussing. Instead of really listening to what was being said, I made a face that prompted the person making the comment to ask what my thoughts were. I was cautious and said I wanted to be careful how I phrased my words. I was encouraged to speak what was on my heart, so in grand fashion I let my thoughts spill out all over the table.

At first I didn’t realize what I had said. Several others in the conversation jumped in and shared their points of view. It wasn’t until one of them spoke about how “our” conversation made him feel that I realized what I had done.

  “A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” Luke 6:45 NKJV

Before the video call ended, this part of the verse pierced my heart, For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.” 

When I looked up the verse my heart sank…

I realized that I was “an evil man” who had “evil treasure” in my heart because I “brought forth evil from my heart”. The comments I made were “right in my own eyes” but I did not have the entire picture.

 “Every man’s way is right in his own eyes, But the LORD weighs the hearts.” Proverbs 21:2 NASB

The Hebrew word for weighs in the above verse is takan  תכן  and means: to regulate, measure, estimate, ponder, balance, make even, level, weigh, be equal, be weighed out, test, prove

 “All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, But the LORD weighs the motives.” Proverbs 16:2 NASB

Tonight my heart was tested and I failed.

I want to be the “good man” who has “good treasure” in my heart and “brings forth good”.

How does this happen? By allowing YHVH to test my heart to show me what is really in there. Most of the time it is in the words that come out of my mouth because I have chosen to be the judge and jury.

I am thankful for my friends who lovingly showed me what was in my heart by speaking the truth in love.

“…but speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in all aspects into Him who is the head, even Christ, from whom the whole body, being fitted and held together by what every joint supplies, according to the proper working of each individual part, causes the growth of the body for the building up of itself in love.” Ephesians 4:15-16 NASB

This conversation made me realize I have a lot of “growing up” to do in order to help the body grow by building it up with love.









Glad Heart

My daughter introduced me to essential oils by gifting me a starter kit last year for my birthday. I excitedly opened the package to reveal several different bottles with names I was familiar with and others I was not. As I took each bottle and broke the seal, a powerful scent wafted into the atmosphere. Some of these were very pleasant and others were not. I realized as I opened the bottles that some of them should be applied to your skin and some ingested to receive maximum benefit.

Today I came across this Scripture:  Proverbs 27:9 NASB “Oil and perfume make the heart glad, So a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.”

I also found a commentary on the same verse:

Proverbs 27:9. Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart, &c. — “As balsam and fragrant perfumes marvellously refresh and comfort the natural spirits, when they droop and are tired; so doth the very presence of a true-hearted friend, and much more his faithful counsel, rejoice a man’s soul; especially when he is at such a loss, that he knows not how to advise himself.” — Bishop Patrick.

I began to see how scents can appeal or repulse when inhaled or ingested.

Think about that for a moment…

The Proverb listed above states that oil and perfume make the heart glad, so a man’s counsel is sweet to his friend.

Is my counsel sweet to my friends, or is it repulsive to them? Do I give advice without being asked or wait for the right opportunity to advise? Do I speak the truth to be heard or do I speak the truth in love?

Ephesians 4:15 CJB “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in every respect grow up into him who is the head, the Messiah.”

What kind of fragrance are you?